My pg ds 7.5 did more passive aggressive behavior at 5 yrs old in pre-k in a private gifted school. He would keep writing his name over and over again, pretend not to hear the teacher's instructions, write his own sick note, or tell the teacher that he didn't need her to learn. When the headmaster refused to deal with ds's behaviors or his rapid acceleration, we had to withdraw. I don't think ds wanted to be spotlighted any more than your dd does now, but he wanted OUT and he would resort to any method to do so. Ds did not see the others in the classroom as his peers. Not sure if your dd does....might be a question to ask.
Ds is being homeschooled now. He still tries to manipulate the situation and want total control over his environment. I recently read The Defiant Child to create a better warning system and others to get a better way to motivate ds to do things (ie. water therapy exercises) which he doesn't want to do. I'm not saying it's a magic cure, but there are feedback loops to use and ways to manage behavior which might work.
Ds was in integrated pre-school programs previous to the private gifted schools, but then he only started vision therapy then. Oy. Makes my head hurt thinking about it and hearing what you're going through.
