Polarbear ,

I agree with what you're saying about the teacher situation , we did bring this up earlier too , but the principal insisted that the teacher is a good fit for our DS , because she's very consistent and she's really trying to make things work for DS . Although i really don't see it that way now because obviously DS isn't happy and because of all these problems , he feels like he's a bad kid .

That private behavior chart was working for him last week , he met his goal , almost meeting 90% of his goal everyday which is a huge improvement . And we do agree that the biggest obstacle for DS is talking and also being respectful with adults and peers .

Esp. being respectful , he talks back and this make him being disrespectful . If he thinks he can try to get away with it , he'll argue with you , he'll get you into an argument . This used to happen with me at home with him , but i chose to end it before i get sucked in into the argument or a debate contest with him .

The principal also notice this , and school thinks that DS likes the spotlight , he likes talking with adults , and he's trying to get them engaged into his favorite thing . Whether it gets him in trouble or not , he doesn't care .. because he gets to debate with them . The school thinks this was the problem with DS . It is possible .

They were saying that now in the classroom with the homeroom teacher , he's been doing better as far as being respectful because they said , his teacher just shut him up . So when he tried to argue , she would not give him a chance to argue , whether it's a hand signal , or whatever she does .. or maybe choose to ignore DS . They said it's been working .

Now , the school wants us to do the same thing , so if DS comes home from school , just look at the behavior chart and don't ask any other questions if he didn't meet his goal . Don't encourage him to talk and to manipulate us , his parents .

Do you think this right though ? I want DS to grow up and can talk with us , his parents , about anything . I don't want him to get an impression that we're not interested with anything that happened at school , or we're only interested with good things that happened at school not the bad ones . What if something bad happened and he didn't tell us because we didn't want to know about it , or didn't give him chance to tell us about it because the school said we should do the same thing like they do with DS ?

This will be hard for DS because i am sure he wants to tell us about whatever things happened at school . The school knows this will frustrate DS and thinks that we need to just do it and tough it up . DS is a person who loves to talk , he loves to tell you how his day was at school , he'd tell you why he gets in trouble , he would analyze the day point by point . And according to school and counselor we need to stop doing this . Because DS is liking it .. and he gets to manipulate the story and turns us parents against the school .

What do you think ??

Edited :
And not only it will frustrate DS , it will do the same thing to me too because i want to know how his day went at school , not just whether he meets his goals or not ( which is to collect 17 initials from being respectful , talking in appropriate time , finishes job , using time and material wisely )

Oh another thing , counselor said that DS is still a mystery to her , she can't figure him out .

Last edited by jaylivg; 04/11/13 07:56 PM.