Wow. Those incidents with your son seem so trivial. I find it hard to believe the principal doesn't have anything better to do than police a kid who misses when he throws leftover food in the trash.

If you have other options for your son, I think I would consider moving him right away. It doesn't seem like the adults in this situation are prepared to help turn things around. And even if they suddenly apologized and said they were over-reacting, would you really trust them to do the right thing for your son?