I think most ALL kids (and adults!)are capable of having a meltdown/tantrum/whatever, if they think that will get them off the hook or get them what they want etc, if other "approaches" aren't working for them!!
I know several autistic kids who do this- and I would venture to say that for these kids it is a "learned behavior" b/c when they have a tantrum? when they explode/act out? The mom gives in. Every time! And even if she doesn't give in, she still in a way does- b/c while she is yelling or arguing with kiddo- he's still doing just what he wanted to be still doing- usually playing a video game or maybe not wanting to go inside a building etc.
*I'm not trying to get into parenting debate or that these gals may need gentle reminders that consistency /following thru etc is important, ***trust me- I tell them! (very gently and only if they ask my opinion/advice)
I agree that this can sometimes be the case. Then you have kids like my DS8. I have never given in to a tantrum. If you speak with him when he is calm he can analyze history and tell you that when he has a tantrum he gets none of what he wants and it leads to a worse outcome for him. He doesn't get to do the activity he was doing while he tantrums- as I physically stop it (turn off tv, take by hand and remove, etc...). YET- he only recently at 8 has stopped having tantrums on a regular basis. Transitions just are hard for him. Setting clear expectations, giving "almost time" warnings and remaining calm in the face of his disappointment are key for us- but even then we have no guarantee he won't melt. Thankfully, age seems to be an issue and he is slowly coming to a point of maturity where we can begin to sigh a little breath of relief.
