Originally Posted by ColinsMum
the poisonousness of believing both:
1) if you have to work at it, it doesn't count (because you can't compare with the people who can do it easily);
2) if you don't have to work at it, it doesn't count (because you should be doing something harder)

Ah, yes, exactly. I got both of these with full conviction from the same parent, and didn't notice the contradiction.