If a grade is less than 100% in that household, there are consequences. Because "results matter."
This breaks my heart. It also sounds like just what the OP's daughter is doing to herself. This kind of thinking means there is no way to enjoy being successful. Perfection in all things is an impossible standard to maintain so they are being set up for failure. These bright, engaged kids are missing out on the joy of learning. It just makes me so sad...
OP, I am not the parent of a teenager so take this with a grain of salt, I would get her involved in some kind of activity that
cannot be measured in terms of being done perfectly. Maybe as a family volunteer one night a week at a soup kitchen. Have her spend Saturday afternoons volunteering at an animal shelter. Maybe just go to an amusement park and have fun. I would try to provide some outlets to allow her to have experiences that can be positive without the pressure of being perfect or competitive. At an animal shelter she will likely meet some other teens who have the qualities you say are important to her. She will get out of the house and interact with people. Life is bound to get lonely if all she allows herself to experience are her books, volleyball practice (where she also probably expects herself to be perfect) and her parents.
I'm not a psychologist but I wonder if this need to study 24/7 may be akin to an Obsessive/Compulsive Disorder. Can she stop herself or does she feel compelled to just keep at it? Especially with a history of anxiety and depression I would get her to a counselor pronto...
JMHO. Good luck.
