Thank you very much for all your input. I really appreciate all the comments and suggestions. They are all I need to re-evaluate my parenting and my DD's behavior. I don't take comments personally but they do post a lot of insight when you think about your own situation. No one knows exactly what's going on in one's situation but yourself. It depends how to take it and implement them wisely.
It's my fault that I didn't share the whole story before I seek comments and help. I shall tell you more before anything else.
My DD14 is an only child and I saw her giftedness early when she's around 1.5 of age but I only confirmed her giftedness after some out-ot-level testing result.
DD14 was diagnosed with anxeity and depression when 3 and has been taking med since.
At 5, she was placed in a regular public school in kindergarten. Her teacher adored her personality and recognised her ability. She enjoyed that year so much and she was a happy camper. But things got really bad when her first grade teacher didn't enjoy having a gifted child in her class and tried to suppress her in front of everyone. Her self-esteem went down so low that she put a guy name next to her own name on every single piece of hw to disguise her own identity. She refused to wear girls outfit and I had to buy clothes out of the boy sections for years. Her anxeity level shot up and we had to increase her med.
My mother's instinct told me that I had to pull her out and we put her in a private school after spending 2 months in the public school. She might appeared as a cheerful girl from outside but I know deep down she was a little mouse that so scared of getting in trouble with the authorities. She's very anxious at most. But her own cheerful personality and kindness had drawn a lot of friendship from everywhere. I was told by most teachers that she's kind, respectful and humble. Her teachers adored her.
Nonetheless, at this age it didn't allow her to identify the indiffernece she was facing but the topics that she talked about sometimes make her the wirediest one in school. She would tell friends about how an airline woudl save money from removing an olive of every passenger in first class but no one cared about it. But she kept being funny and weird. People didn't mind when they were at that age as long as you are willing to put your hand in the dirt.
Things went down when a girl of one year older came to our school in second grade. Again, my DD14's personality got her attention and that girl wanted to be friends with her. My DD14 had more friends than anyone then. It was fine for a year or two but some jealousy started to take place in this girl's mind. She starting to manipulate people around them and made them turn against my DD. A year old than most gave her the advantage and power when kids were around 8-10. They're starting to realise the indifference in my daughter. Friends were starting to turn against my DD and my DD's conscience was kicking in as well. My DD felt unfairness and her judgement of the wrongfulness of course didn't help her to remain calm and solve her problems. She started to feel more anxious each time before a new school year all because of the uneasy situation brought by this girl. Her doctor had to increse her dosage every summer to help her ease the anxeity attack. My heart broke again.
We finally moved her to a public school in seventh grade and she learned so much from the GATE program like good study habit, more down-to-earth kids. She spent most of time adjusting to the new school system and new friends. So, life didn't seem too bad without a lot of friends. To add more info, this public school is located in a lower income district and 80% of the kids are under priviledged. The other 20% are mostly in GATE. These two years went by fast and people weren't mean to her since she's a newbie and everyone found her interesting. Again, she's funny and playful and we have a very different background from most. (My husband is a doctor but we live a comfotable but humble life but kids still see the difference)
HS is the time when I see the problem getting bigger. (Most kids in this HS were from the previous MS) They don't have curiosity about my daughter anymore. They identified her and her place as who she is, is set.
Just to add a note. My DD14 is a very kind young lady and would put her heart out to people. That's why she gets hurt easily and she closes herself up now. I never agree that my DD is easy going and I'm sure pretty much most gifted children have their own traits that other don't understand but I'm sure she is a sweet person. Most of her coaches and teachers always comment how sweet and humble she is and were surprised she is not a spoiled child from where she's coming from.
Our family have a belief of treating people right and kind but never let them take advantage of our kindness. I'm trying to help my DD to understand that she should stand tall when other people try to bring you down but never be mean to them. She got it and did it but she's lonely now.
That's my story. I hope it helps if anyone wants to know more and contribute your opinions. Anything will work, nice, harsh as long as I learn some from it. Again thanks again all the GT parents. Love you all cuz we have the best kids in the world and we care.
