Interesting... there was no ADOS done. The assessment tools used are listed as follows:
Beery VMI-VI
WISC-IV
CLEF4
WJIII-NU
WRAML2
Conner's (version 5)
BASC-2
BRIEF
If you search my back posts, I'm pretty sure I've posted several times the list of tests that was used in diagnosing my DS10. There is some overlap with your list, but significant differences too.
I've often wondered about that - is life therapy? He's never had any ASD-specific treatment, just parenting (positive reinforcement, consequences, structure, etc etc).
A lot of parenting is meant to modify behavior, as all ASD therapies are. Theoretically the therapies should be more targeted and efficient, but the aim is similar: to get the desired behaviors and eliminate the unwanted ones. Life experience also produces behavior change.
FWIW my DS was very difficult to discipline, too, somewhat in the way you describe. Time outs had no effect. I took a parenting course because I was sure it was my fault. Nothing they suggested worked on him either. Those years were tough. In his case it was definitely not manipulation per se; more like experimenting on his environment (humans included) to figure out what was going on.
Anyway, I've often wondered if ASD and ADHD (to name two of many) can actually be outgrown. DS has changed dramatically - even the teachers at school are commenting on this - gushing about how he's come so far - and yet the "language holes" in his brain persist. So now I'm left with the question: is this developmental as well, or an actual cognitive deficit that won't change or improve without targeted intervention?
ASD is permanent; that's part of its definition, a lifelong impairment. My understanding of ADHD is that that is also a wired-in brain difference with permanent implications. However-- brains do change over time. Human beings, especially young ones but really all of them, have a tendency to grow and learn. People with ASD and ADHD and all manner of other things learn coping strategies and skills for being in the world.
My DS at 10 still has autism and he always will. When he was in kindergarten his problems were freaking out and hiding behind the bookcases or fleeing at school and rambling on about the Latin names of clouds to other kindergartners, those sorts of things. He doesn't do those things any more. The problems look totally different, but they are still real: he has problems identifying when a peer is bullying him or just joking around, he gets anxious if he forgets to turn in his homework (and he often does). When he goes to college, it will look different still. I bet there will still be anxiety and social mistakes in his mix, but he will have grown and gathered some new strategies for managing it all.
At least, I'm counting on that.
ETA: I can't say from my armchair where your DS's language holes come from or how they should be approached, but anyone who knows me knows that I like to use every resource available to identify and work on problems. In your shoes, I'd look for the clearest answers and most appropriate therapies.
DeeDee
