I'm just trying to keep my gut in the driver's seat and gently steer where DD seems to want guidance (or where her dad and I think that she HAS to have some).
So far, she's exhibited really very good judgment. She sees no reason to change who SHE is to suit others or to be more attractive to the opposite sex. She's been putting safety and her responsibilities first. She's not dumbing down or anything. We've talked about the risks of ignoring one's platonic relationships, too, in the initial intensity of a relationship with someone-- particularly someone 'needy.'
I'm laughing at the enthusiastic efforts by one of her female friends to give her a 'makeover' recently in light of her new love interest. DD placidly allowed the friend (who is 15) to dress her, do her hair, etc. But then she promptly undid all of it once the friend left, and just shrugged, explaining "I think I'll probably come across better overall if I'm not tugging at uncomfortable clothing like I have some kind of bad rash in embarrassing locations." LOL.
I am a little concerned that DD doesn't seem to feel "worthy" of her intellectual peers, though. She only knows maybe one or two other PG kids, and while both are male, neither is her cup of tea. Ergo, most of the intellectual peers that she knows are classmates who are MG-HG and two to four years older than she is.
I think that her reluctance to engage with (even interested) classmates/peers may be about risk-averseness, but I'm not sure. It's also possible that her emotional maturity isn't at a point where she feels that they are her "peers" in this particular realm, and if so, she's probably right about that.
She certainly feels safe with the, er... "misfit" kids her own age, though-- to a degree that makes her dad and I a little bit worried for her. Is she doing it because she fears/knows that her chronological peers will reject her based on her intellect? Or that her intellecutal peers will reject her/not take her seriously because of her age? I think that may be it. She very definitely has voiced some things in the past year or so about feeling like a "freak" and not feeling like she truly belongs anywhwere (not with older kids, not with age-mates). Her friends are mostly starting to drive, and she's years away from even being eligible for a learner's permit.
