Hi Cricket,
I can only talk from my own experience, which may or may not be helpful. I started dating a boy 3 years older than me when I was 15. For me it was great, I was emotionally ready for all that entailed, we went out for a little over a year. Between him and my husband, who I met at 18, I dated a couple of other older boys/men, including a 27 year when I was 17, and my husband who was 28 when I met him at 18. At no point did I feel exploited or pressured. These were (and still are - I am still with my husband 15 years later, and still friends with one of those boyfriends), good people who I had a real connection and equal relationship with.
Important factors were, I believe, that I had had thorough sex education, which enabled me to be responsible in my choices. Also, my parents were supportive (if no doubt a little anxious), which meant I didn't have to hide anything. I was pretty street wise from my particular upbringing so perhaps that made a difference - I couldn't say. I just never found boys my age interesting. Still today almost all my closest friends are 10 or more years older than I am.
Based on my own experience, I'd be ok with her dating older boys as she gets a little older (I would probably balk at a situation like my HG best friend's in high school. She was going out with an 18 yo at 12 yo - but as it turned out they were together, very happily, for 7 years!) In reality I'm not sure you can stop it - certainly I would have found ways around any 'ban'.
I have no doubt not all experiences with such big age gaps work out well, but certainly in the case of my friend and I, our relationships were very positive.
Last edited by Giftodd; 03/18/12 08:33 PM.
