NCmom2, what do you consider your second "E" to be? I'm curious because you do sound very much like my DD, who does not have a dx outside of giftedness but whom I consider somewhere on the gray edges of ASD...perhaps. I feel like she does KNOW that people don't like what she's saying or doing but that her compulsions towards rightness and fairness keep her going forward regardless.
I was diagnosed with moderate dyslexia in elementary school, but according to the psych who did the eval, I was compensating well and needed no accommodations. This was not true, I was so stressed I was having panic attacks and my hair was falling out. I also suspect ADD since my son has it and we share some characteristics. But who knows. Maybe I was just bored spitless in school and that was why I could not focus and eventually checked out of my academic life almost completely.
I don't think the focus on fairness is a DX. From my reading, that tends to be more of an IQ trait than a disability. I feel like it is my job to uphold and protect, even when it is hard or people disapprove. My heroes are the civil rights activists who exhibited such intense physical courage combined with a real commitment to the principles of non-violence in the face of horrible violence and injustice.
Your daughter sounds like an admirable child.
