A lot of what you say about yourself is true of me and I am 100% positive that I don't have an ASD and there is no family history, so while that may be an issue in your family, it seems to me a lot could also be attributed to giftedness. I also really get my oldest dd11 (PG), and for whatever it is worth, I also seem to get those kids who are 2e with an ASD. (For sure not as much as a 2e adult who actually has Asperger's, but better than most it seems) I do *not* get my youngest dd, who I suspect is at least HG, but her issues don't seem to be related to autism. Or, I should say my issues with understanding what is going on in her sweet and complicated little head, haha! So, probably not much help...
So, for whatever it is worth, and I just skimmed so maybe you have read it, but I would get the dual diagnosis and misdiagnosis book and make sure the person diagnosing your kid really has experience with gifted kids. And what an NT gifted kid looks like as well as a gifted kid with Asperger's. Good luck.
