One thing I learned to is to go where you already know they're going to go. If you acknowledge their reaction and disarm it before it happens, it can sometimes change the outcome. (Sometimes, not always)
For example, I used to say things like, " You know, I can hardly believe it myself, but she's already devoured the entire Harry Potter series, and I'm scrambling to keep up with her. For a while, I tried to get her to slow down because I was afraid it would keep her from being a kid, but I've come to understand that this is just her being herself. So, most of the time I'm exhausted keeping up - which is why I'm so excited to see her interested in baseball. For a bit I can just hang out and enjoy watching all of our kids."
I know it's terrible in some ways, but when other parents see the down side to raising a driven, high IQ kid, they are allowd to pity you - which gives them the equal footing to not feel intimidated.
I was in a similar situation where I heard a mom's judgmental remarks as I walked away, and I did go back and address them. I told her I couldn't help hearing what she said and then said, "You're right. I'm not raising my kid to be normal, because he isn't. He hasn't fit the norm since he started trying to hack passwords in our computer at 3 years old. What I am trying to do is to help him be ok with who he is and help him have normal experiences as best I can. So if you'd like to go to coffee sometime and give me pointers, I'd love the support."
Sometimes we have to step up and be ambassadors of enlightening others and sometimes it's easier just to walk away and chalk it up to ignorance.
This is really great--I wish I could come up with these kinds of responses on the spot, but I am just not very quick in situations like this. I really like your approach.
