Hi all. I posted an "I'm back" in the preschool section, but I had some developmental questions that I thought fit more here.
Some background....
DD is 3.9, she reads on an almost 4th grade level, spontaneously has figured out math (she was solving for x the other day and told me it was like a mystery) and she LOVES science and has asked for a 3rd grade science textbook after looking online at the quizes that went with it and being able to answer most of them correctly even though she has never been exposed to most of those concepts. She wants to be an orthopedic surgeon and "fix knees" and an "astronomer and study cool things in space, like astroids, and comets, and dwarf planets) Although she asked me the other day how she could do both.
I was told by her last Pediatrician to prepare for college at an age when she should be in middle school and in LOG she fits somewhere between a 4 and a 5. She hit every 4 milestone well before the ages listed, and in the descriptions, fit those about a year before they were done, but is slightly behind the level 5 milestones. Anyway, lets just say she keeps me busy all day and keeps me laughing.
Now that you have background, I need to know if some behaviors DH and I, as well as others are noticing are typical 3 year old, or something we should be concerned about. We really don't have a doctor to ask as we have just moved to a remote island in the Bering Sea. None of these appeared after the move, they were all present even before moving.
She gets extreamly overwhelmed with crowds. She won't talk at all although she talks constantly at home or one on one. She says the noises hurt. She also says this about my blender, or beaters, or the electric can opener and food processor, and the vacumme. So I am not sure what is going on with that. Any ideas? I thought she would have out grown it by now. At least she doesn't typically scream with them anymore, just leaves the room running if in the house, or covers her ears, sticks her fingers in her ears, etc if in a public place (she used to ask to leave, but now looks for a corner to go sit in away from everything)...but it is odd enough behavior that it is noticed in groups.
Its so hard for me to know what is age appropriate behavior. Although, I don't see the same things bothering her friends. I also dont see them getting as "locked in" as Dh and I call it. She gets very locked in on what she is doing and is extreamly quick to anger, like snap your fingers quick, and is in a full blown temper and anger if she is forced to stop. She seems physically distressed if she is not able to complete what she is doing in the exact perfect order. She also quickly angers if the person playing with her did not understand what she wanted and does it wrong or if "acting out characters" as DD calls it, is not done exactly the way she envisiond. Is that normal for 3.9?
She also can not be still. She can focus, very well if it is something she is into....but she is CONSTANTLY flapping and wiggling her fingers. Not her hands, just her fingers....ALL DAY. My mom asked about it tonight (and she just flew in today and had been here about 4 hours) She asked what that was about. DH and I are both wondering, and living here there is not really anyone to ask, although DH is suggesting that if it continues because it has become so disruptive to take her to see someone when we go to Louisiana this spring.
She also has a difficult time making eye contact. She will be listening to me or talking to me, but her eyes will be looking across the room in the other direction. When I tell her to look at me and I am talking to her, she will face me, but her eyes will be pointing in the other direction. I am not sure if this is just because she is annoyed and doesn't want to be listening or what. I am going to see if my mom notices it while she is here.
Okay, so is all this normal? We have been working on ways to cope, on appropriateness of actions, but often in the moment she just can't seem to stop enough to even hear.
Anyway, if you made it through this ramble, thank you. I just have lots of wondering and DH has been asking "is that normal?" and I honestly don't know.
