How do you stop to do meditation when you need to remain hypervigilant because you are in the middle of a nightmare? How do you take deep breaths when the smell is making you sick?
((Lori))
I don't know how you do it, you have such a big job right now. I know that you promised your Dad, to be there for him, but it is ok to at least consider if you want to renegotiate that promise.
My guess is that staying hypervigilant isn't really going to help you never miss an opportunity to be helpful to your son - as in the case of his brace. If you are so hypervigilant that you are a bundle of nerves then it will decrease your ability to function. Hypervigilant is great for alert, but not so good for deciding what to do while alert.
There might be a fire or tornato, but the odds must be small. I think a relaxed and determined state would probably be just as good in responding to a crisis as your default HV, yes?
I am teaching myself to meditate 'one minute at a time' - and I'm starting under rather less stressful minutes than ones where I am likely to toss my cookies because of the smell. I am sure that there are moments at night when all is well and you still aren't sleeping that might be better minutes to start practicing deep breathing. I know I have these moments, and I used to fret about being away when I needed to be asleep. Now I notice that I'm awake and think, "Wow, no one wants me to do anything - this is a great chance to practice my breathing."
Also waiting in line at the grocery store.
What does the doctor say about the brace not fitting? If you have to live with it, at least sew a snap on instead of the safety pin. You son has a great sense of humor, can he get you laughing about being stuck and needing to go to the bathroom?
Maybe he'll make a comedy routine about the ups and downs of wearing a brace?
BTW - To be a good mother doesn't mean getting everything right every time. I think you would call me a good mother, but I can assure you that there have been times when my son was walking around in sneakers where the soles were totally disconnected from the uppers. Sure I was mortified, but it is just part of parenting. Can you make peace with life's little unexpected bumps?
In other words - you haven't, not one bit, convinced me that you aren't a good mother because your son outgrew his brace.
Love and More Love,
Grinity
