Originally Posted by EastnWest
Hi again Bonus Mom -

I am curious. After reading all the advice, feedback and stories, what do you think is the root of the issue?

- EW

Good question!

My heart still thinks it's all my fault. But the posters here are helping me enormously to get over that. Or at least come up with ways to try to make it better.

Otherwise, I think several things are going on at once. There's the growth-spurt issue; and while his 1-1/2" in six months is nothing compared to Belle's son's 2" every month (yikes!), it is the largest spurt he's had in years, and I suppose that must be affecting him more than we realize.

Then there is his, uh, "dichotomy of thinking," I guess I would call it. While no one here has mentioned that yet, it has occurred to me that, on the one hand, he is prone to speaking and acting without thinking, and on the other hand, he tends to overthink and/or think he knows more than he does. (That's another problem - him cutting me off and finishing my sentence. It's unbelievably frustrating, especially when he's completely wrong!) I've been trying to work with him on both of these aspects for a long time, and while I realize it is a very difficult habit to master (I still haven't!), it doesn't seem like it has been this prevalent before.

I also wonder if there isn't some kind of maturation/struggle to establish independence going on, or maybe it just stinks to be the only kid "against" two adults. Maybe he feels like he should have equal authority - which he will never get, of course, but that doesn't mean he doesn't want it.

Or maybe it's executive function. Or maybe it's being bored at school, and at the same time not wanting to be singled out as different. Or maybe it's a guaranteed attention-garnering tactic.

As you can see, I'm all over the map here! And all these things seem equally likely!

Sigh. I am often amazed at how emotionally aware and articulate many of your children are. You ask them how they feel about something, you ask them what they think of something, and - gasp! - they tell you something that makes perfect sense! I just wish I could crawl inside the boy's brain and figure out what really goes on in there....