Welcome EllenC,
I'm glad you found us! Isn't Dottie terrific with those number interpretations. I second her reccomendation to do the talent search and above level test, with a twist.
If possible, sign her up for the "correct" above level test, and also for the next grade group level up. My hunch is that as gifted as she is, she'll top out the test that was planned to be for her age group. I don't know if you'll be allowed to start with double testing, but if you are, try to get both done this year. Another tip, as long as you are bringing DD9, sign the other kids up as well if you can afford it. The talent searches are a bargan!
OK - here's my take on your situation. You feel that the school should be doing more for your daughter, and want to come in armed with statistics that prove your point. You want the school to look at the scores, and start looking more deeply at your DD to see where the problems are. I think you've going about it backwards.
Schools like to problem solve. You have to be the one to highlight the problems. Later you'll also be suggesting solutions, such as distance learning during the school day. Collect some DD stories going that highligh your concerns. Put it in writing and request testing in writing. Make an appointment to speak to the teacher, and then make an appointment to speak to the adjustment counselor or the principle if your concerns are not met. ((What is an adjustment counselor?))
You don't need an IQ score,(except to qualify for Davidson, which I encourage you to do) and if you are lucky, you may not have to pay for one. Maybe the school will and maybe the school won't. Your written request is your best bet. I say you don't need scores, because teachers don't really "get" IQ or Achievment scores - they get work samples. Do a little afterschooling with your DD and collect some of the work she does at home so you can show the contrast between what she is being asked to do at school and what she enjoys doing at home.
Are you located in Western Mass. or are you close to Boston? Are there any schools for gifted kids within a reasonable driving range? Another way to "check" if your kid is gifted is to apply to independent schools and talk to folks there. Ask them what they would do with a child like yours who yearns to learn more. (Even if you never intend to switch, it's about 10% of the cost of IQ testing out of pocket. If you do decide to pay, please go to one of the top 5 in the country type places, not a local tester. You've already said enough to make me believe that you'd be waisting your time, money and mental energy to work locally with someone has "some" gifted experience.) You may find that your medical insurance covers the testing.
Again - write it out, what are your concerns? Tell a few stories that highlight them. What do you want from a school? If you are locked into public school, then I urge you to consider grade skipping as part of the package. Here's a though experiment: If you daughter had a disability, and the school offered her a program that was proven to help other kids like her, would you decline on the basis that it would call attention to her height and that she has finally make a few friends in the regular program? See where I'm heading with this? You can request "A Nation Decieved" for free online to help you start thinking about these things. Yes, your daughter will need "differentiation" and "enrichment" once she is within one or two grades of where she really needs to be, but keeping her with her agemates all day long is a set up for her to never fully learn social skills. This kind of learning takes lots and lots of practice, and she needs to be able to practice on kids who she can be herself with. Otherwise she gets practice in masking her true self in order to have friends. This is the situation my DS10 has been in for his entire school life so far.
I wish I could tell you that there is a good choice for your daughter. You can move to Nevada and attend the Davidson Institue where she can be with agemate who are appropriate peers. You can homeschool. You can send her to community college. You can grade skip. You can look for an alternative school setting - are you close to Sudbury? That's an idea. ((BTW - I really like the book, Picky Parent's guide to choosing a school K-6))
You may be feeling very unformed in your concerns. If that's it, tell us what books you've read and we'll suggest some more. Mass has a gifted association - join up ASAP. There are some great Moms of PG kids in Mass.
Have you found SENG and Hoagiesgifted.org?
It's really late here, so I hope I'm sounding warm and loving. Acutally I'm in kind of a self-pitying mood, so if it's leaking through, it isn't you, it's me, but in true Gifted fashion, I want to help and inform sooo badly that I can't leave it alone.
Love and More Love,
Trinity
