The way we work it in our family is that we try to be mostly communal, except that I am the absolute boss of safety. So if something is a safety issue, there's no negotiation, no delaying, etc. I'm not sure how a truly natural consequences person would handle that. Perhaps such a person doesn't really exist, now that I think about it. smile

There are sometimes whole-family consequences to DD's choices. But then, there are also whole-family consequences to my choices, and DH's choices, etc., so I'm not overly concerned about that.

DD is an only (so far) so I've not had to deal with balancing two children's needs. I'm not sure how that would play out. I think the theory is that kids who have grown up having their needs and desires respected are simply more willing to respect the needs and desires of others.