I am certain that most of us do reason with our children.
The thing is that I have interacted with many families where that is ALL there is. Every single thing becomes a debate. My main point is that there is a need to find a balance between never question and always question. Yes, saying that a child needs to be quiet because they are disturbing the shoppers teaches them the reasoning, but saying it each and every time the are loud in public and not having consequences for not listening derails the entire point of explaining. (And yes, I have seen examples of this... sigh...)
If you are pulled over for speeding, telling the cop that you were going the speed of traffic or have a family emergency at home doesn't change the fact you will get a ticket. I have seen parents teaching their children through their parenting choices that debate and stubborness on the part of the child results in the child ALWAYS getting their way. That's simply not how the real world works and I have seen kids get a very rude awakening because of this.
I would be interested in knowing how people achieve this balance. I know from raising my two that it isn't easy. We talk a lot about personal responsibility and why there are rules, as well as when obeying without debate is appropriate and when debate is acceptable.
