This gets more difficult (and scarier) as they hit their teens. I have always given her decisions to make per her age. She is a good decision maker now.
However, there are many "house rules" she needs to follow due to the fact that she has to live with others. This is a fact of life. Her messy room is a problem. When I have to buy new clothes just because she cannot find hers, that is time to step in and clean.
I have always had her complete her homework. I know people of gifties differ on this, but most kids quit doing their homework in middle school. It is built into her head that she has to complete this. Starting in Kinder, there were bonus questions and she had to work these. I wanted her to know that these are not optional in life. Due to this, she has very little trouble completing homework and this is not a fight.
Also, I strongly believe that I have lived through way more than she has and I have a bigger picture and more data. There are things that she will have to live through to make certain decisions in her life. Therefore, there are big decisions that I make for her.
