So sorry your son, and you, are going through this. I have worked as a school counselor with kids that have this social anxiety, and selective mutism (which to me sounds like what you are describing even though that may not be his current diagnosis). One of the worst things you can do in working with kids that have these issues is to force them to talk and confront them regularly on the fact that they don't talk. You encourage communication, be it verbal or in other ways. You set them up in small groups and situations where they feel more comfortable talking and the more they talk with a positive experience, the more comfortable they will be speaking in school. I would suggest you find some articles on the internet about selective mutism and how to work with children on this in school setting. You will find multiple resources and it all focuses on team effort and even though it can be frustrating for teachers, they can mess it all up by being too pushy. I had to print some out and we reviewed and had a team meeting at some point with other staff so we all were helping not harming the situation. Also wanted to mention that I worked with a 2nd grader that was very bright but had never said one word in the school building. Not one word at all. Parents brought in video tapes of him talking so we could see. He did projects at home and we brought the tapes in to show the class and he was okay with that. I also worked with a girl who never said a word in school and I put her in a amall group with her peers and now she yells my name in the hall when she sees me and talks and talks. Anyhow, the more patient and accepting you are with these kids, the better they can do. It's kind of common sense, if a kid is crying and scared you don't yell in their face "stop crying". Hope that is somewhat helpful.
