Hi,
I'm almost in tears here (wouldn't be the first time)! Maybe someone can help. I guess I should have signed up for this forum LONG ago. I have a son who will be in the 6th grade next year. He was identified as gifted in third grade. It was about the end of second grade when I started noticing lack of motivation. From that time on I have been in constant contact with my school regarding his situation.
There really isn't much they would do, because in our district if your child doesn't perform/test 2 grades levels below his current grade they don't qualify for "Special Ed" (there's probably a different name for it end of the spectrum).
In third grade, my son WAS put into the "gifted program" offered at his school. This was an after school program (ie, for an underachiever especially, MORE WORK!!!) They studied conservation, environment etc. He didn't enjoy it. I have discussed "differentiation" and "clustering" at "Gifted Meetings"
with the district (which do absolutely nothing, I think they have them only to make it LOOK like something is being done for our gifted students).
Finally, last year they did a full spectrum of testing (I was told by an outside professional that they were "good, quality tests"). He of course did average to above average on all of the tests (except for one). So once again this confirmed his lack of need for help. (according to the school).
He wasn't turning in "quality work in writing (ELA)" so there was a plan put into place to pull him out DURING class send him to the "learning center" (which of course has a stigma, especially for kids)and put him with a "tutor" to assist in this area (although I was mostly concerned about the fact that he CAN'T memorize his times tables!) He started seeing the tutor, she told me that he was an "excellent writer". She said "he writes better than most 5th graders" I was aware of this..he CAN do it, he just WON'T do it.
So now I have a son who is EXTREMELY unmotivated. He HATES everything about school. How am I supposed to get him into an "accelerated" program where he will be excited about learning
when he won't perform even the LOW level work he is currently assigned. I want to put him into some type of program that will meet his needs. I'm afraid he will only see this as "more work".
I have read pretty much EVERY book out there on this, underachievement, gifted, misdiagnosis, learning styles, brain research on how boys learn vs how girls etc. (I'm sure I haven't read them ALL..but an awful lot!) I need a starting point. Obviously the things I've tried in the past aren't working.
It's killing me to see my son fail. Not for me, but for him. He seems SO unhappy, he has extremely low self esteem, he NEVER tries anything new, and he gives up on everything. I believe this is because of the fact that he has never REALLY been successful at anything! (Due to the fact that he has never been challenged in school, I believe he has never felt true success, the rewards of working hard and achieving a goal.)
Can anyone help me with where to turn for an education for my son. Help with motivation. etc?
Sorry to write so much, it's hard to explain this situation with few words.
