Texas is an interesting state.
Now THAT'S an understatement.
They will also provide a grade skip to anyone who can pass their draconian tests. I would reccomend asking, in writing, that your son get thoses tests now, while in the lower grades. Have you connected with the state gifted association?
We were offered the 1st grade test, but by the school counselor (whom we were seeing because of behavioral concerns related to boredom in K). When we "re-asked" the principal and GT teacher we were "poo-poo"'d [can't think of a better word] into "just lets see how he does next year, after all he's a July birthday. But yes, I do realize EVERYTHING gets more response in writing. Sadly, my husband and I would have to AGREE on giving him the test before pressing the school.
Have you connected with the state gifted association?
I have attended TAGT Parent & Teacher conference but have not joined. I use their website, Hoagies - constantly, and do a lot of searching Texas State law. I'm undecided on the usefulness of the organization. I'm not yet "into" legislation advocacy or lobbying [BTDT for Cancer Research, need a break!] and it seems to be TAGT's focus. Still, I'm aware of them and enjoyed meeting the other parents. I've also found a local GT Parent Support Group though not in my school district. Still NOT in my school district maybe the most helpful to avoid that "parent-rivalry" cr@p that goes on.
Lots of what you are asking will be told to you by the IQ tester you hire - the point isn't to have a number, the point is to get guidance for you and the school as to what "might" work.
Thanks. I'll need that "explanation" to convince my husband to do it sooner rather than later.
One year after qualifying for GT, my DD was diagnosed as dyslexic, though my research says it's dyspraxia. [...]"We've never seen anyone like this and honestly, aren't quite sure how to handle it."
Request an IEP, again in physical hard copy, if that hasn't happend yet.
It has and it worked for 2nd grade, but I've been told that in 3rd grade "all they do" is prepare them for TAKS (our stupid state testing invented by the lovely GWB). For the "normal" dyslexics (is that offensive? I'm sorry don't have another word right now) they need help READING the questions on the TAKS so they accurately demonstrate their knowledge. My daughter can read just fine. When they get to the written portion - 4th grade - then she might need help.
They are responsible for her education. Keep reminding them or pull her out and homeschool. They have a state education board and professionals that they turn to[...]they do have a responsibility to provide for kids with disabilities. Its a law. Your job is to be aware of your kids strengths and keep asking questions until they, at the very least, provide grade skips for your son, and special ed. services for your daughter that also challenges her strengths.
Perhaps I'll make a sign that says "They are responsible for their education" and post it on my front door so I see it every time I walk out the door to go talk to the school (less than 100 yards away. I LIVE inside the school zone!:))
We knew DS had mastered all "required" K material before stepping in the school but fear of being labeled "pushy" held us back.
Well, the first step in making a change is to admit our mistakes. Of course we don't want to look like pushy parents. I think that how we act matters a lot more than what we actually do. All that smiling and listening and nodding really helps.
Going to that TAGT Conference really helped me "get over that" mistake part. They'd ALL BTDT and then talked about being known in the entire school as "that mom" but then knowing they'd done the right thing when their 10 year old was at the University being mentored in astro-physics. I try to forgive us and move on. Funny or sadly or unfairly, it helps that I am small in stature, quiet in voice, and am known as somewhat of a shy but reliable parent volunteer (I volunteer in the library because a tight classroom full of noisy kids gives me panic attacks). So when I approach people they make assumptions on the strength of my "spine" so to speak. I can certainly play the innocent wallflower to my benefit in ways a 6' woman with a commanding presence could not. Still, often I must say and write 10 times to another "more commanding" parents 5. A squeeky, sweet wheel instead of a loud thundering pounding.
If you are in a position to spend the money on testing privatly, I would suggest that you put that on the summer agenda, start with DS if you have to stagger it, as his problems may not be mandated to be served by the school, and are possibly easily solved (by acceleration) in the short term.
Again, will have to print out your reply and post it to my husband's forehead. I know in alot of ways he means well. He doesn't want to add to my burden (you'll see what I mean later). He also doesn't want to pressure his kids to be super geniuses. I keep telling him that HE isn't they just ARE, it's in their being, their genes. We probably both had/have it too. Mine for one was beat out of me by conformity, the race for grades, and slavery to playing the system. His was sent underground by boredom and a stubborn refusal to "play the system."
I digress (I do it alot, especially when I'm "like this")
Sorry, I just have NO ONE to talk to about my concerns...
Yeah, we see this. My Sister in Law asked me, after attending a lecture on gifted ed together - "You spend a lot more time on this than I do. Is it that you kid is so much more gifted than mine, or just that I'm a lousy Mother?"
Fortunately my older sister (10 years older) has boys staggered between my kids - 10 and 6. The oldest has the most trouble, ADHD, depression, difficulty reading in younger grades, but terribly advanced at math and science. Her youngest is gifted but so far doesn't show signs of LD. We can lean on each other, though we live in different states. We've created a pact not to let MOM know the details of their intelligence to avoid any "family issues". I do feel blessed.
how he's smarter than me and weaves his way around my rules until I'm dizzy,
Read Sylvia Rimm. this doesn't have to happen! Don't let it continue! But yes, I have BTDT.
I've read:
*Born to Rebel
*Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline
*The Wonder of Boys (only 1/2 way through)
*How to Raise the Strong-Willed Child (I think that's it, I borrowed it from a friend.)
Everytime I go to the bookstore or scan Amazon I see more and more books that would help. Will add yours to the list of potential contenders.
We've come along way now that we've come to understand his need for COMPLETE order. We have "to-do" lists posted in the bathroom, in his room, on the fridge. I don't know if its that he can't remember what to do next, but more that he LOVES doing things 100% correctly. If there's no check list to "indicate" success, he gets scattered, frustrated, and ornery.
how much guilt I feel everytime I waste an afternoon letting them both veg on TV.
((shrug)) My guess is that you have some perfectionistic tendencies also? Time to wake up, give credit and blame where it is due, and start to show by example that how a person can possibly live in a wonderful but imperfect world. This may not make sense yet, but it will. You can not afford to lie to yourself that you are 100% in charge of the outcomes of your children. Yes you are powerful, but .....
It makes a whole lot more sense than you probably even meant for it to. As I mentioned above (my husband not wanting to add to my burden and how I'm feeling "right now"), I was diagnosed bipolar a year ago. Oddly enough it's a wonderful relief to finally be getting help and to see the light at the end of the tunnel in possibly becoming the person I remember I was capable of being. (Ok, THAT was confusing).
Anyway, 1. I'm currently in a hypomanic phrase, thus the wandering subject matter, VERY long posts and wordy phrases. When I switch over to slightly depressed I'll give one word answers. 2. My children were, quite literally, IGNORED for two months a year go right before my breakdown and diagnosis. (Which only proves more their intelligence as they thrived despite me! It's probably why he taught himself to read at 3 years and 10 months... purse boredom!) So I have misplaced guilt there too. 3.In addition, I'm OCD and it usually expresses itself most during hypomaic phases. I'm productive, wordy, but yes ultimately EXTREMELY PERFECTIONIST to the point of wasting hours and days.
This is my personal struggle and cross to bear. I am just now learning to accept it as fact, get OVER it and "start to show by example that how a[an][imperfect] person can possibly live in a wonderful but imperfect world." Sometime I hope will ultimately help my kids cope (as I was not taught to cope) with their strengths, weaknesses, and the world's responses to them.
So welcome to the forum. Keep us posted. We care, and won't get an attitude.
I do TRULY TRULY appreciate your heartfelt and sincere reply. Status hasn't changed much right now, except that we've been sending them to camps and grandma's to get away from TV. Also with my new hypomanic phase (was depressed until mid-July), we've got projects lined up (making solar system, human DNA model, art "creations", etc.) When I swing back, they get a bit more time with Discovery Channel, History Channel, Animal Planet, Dirty Jobs, Zooboomafoo, and Scooby Doo. Since we don't even OWN a video game machine, I'm lifting a bit of guilt off my shoulders that way too.
-Jen R
