Hi Cricket,
I like your observations about underachievement - be sure to share them with the school district. I would try to spend some time at the level 4 school at J's age level, and see if you think he could do the work. compare it to the gifted classroom. What precent of the day would the Level 3 school have J spend in the gifted classroom?
Personally, I'd rather have my child struggling to get B+/A- than breezing through with As, although struggling to get As would be the best. Of course it's a drag to be in a class that you don't have a prayer of keeping up in, but I'm not convinsed that tests like the WISC IV are that good at seperating 135s from 145s.
It may well be worth it to get privatly paid for IQ tests.
Too bad the military doesn't have a overt network. I'll betcha a dollar that there is a network out there, just not advertised. Keep asking sweetie. They probably just call it something weird like, "Parents of Children without bellybuttons."
Here's another way of viewing things - Read up on the Briggs-Myer's personality type. I'll bet it will ring a lot of bells about the differences between the boys, and how that relates to your relationships with them.
Very nice to met you to,
Trinity
