Very good points. I think it is self talk, coping skills, anxiety perhaps mixed with an innate amplified sensitivity.

I actually think the academic fit is good.

I should set up a meeting with the school counselor. The crux of it is his reluctance/refusal to meet with any counselors.

I do wonder if the school environment (which isn't exactly a natural normal one) is just too much for how he's wired. As adults we can choose (to some extent) where we fit work-wise based on our likes/dislikes.

People who hate public speaking wouldn't be teachers. People who dislike large groups might do research or programming. etc.

Is it necessarily "wrong" to find school a miserable setting?