Thank you Polar Bear.
Your anxious dd sounds a bit like my ds. Helpful to hear how counseling has worked for your other two. I don't know anyone that's been through counseling so that gives me some reference of how it might work.
Thanks also for the acknowledgement that pulling out might help or it might not.
The program he is in, as I mentioned, is so perfect for the way he learns - really for the way anyone learns. I know that he's feeling uncomfortable now and might have concerns about how he'll fit in (imposter syndrome - how smart are these other kids? etc.). I think he was getting somewhat reassured socially and re his fit by this last full Friday. I was optimistic after talking to him that he might be able to see this through.
Later that day he asked again to be homeschooled (he no longer wants to transfer to the local high school).
So, another question that I'm not sure anyone can answer. He's 13. He doesn't see the full picture. We do and we see that this environment - though trickier to adjust to in the beginning - will be amazing for him. Can I allow him to decide to homeschool? He'll have to do DL and follow a broad curriculum and work independently supervised by a remote teacher as my busiest work season is the next 3 months - though I work at home. So from optimal amazing education opportunity to working independently through a text book. This is not a good choice. Also, once he makes that choice he'll regret it and ask to switch back.
On the other hand if he refuses to go what can I do? I've used coercion a few times this past week but can't continue to.
Basically my question is if we feel he really really should continue so he can get through the tough part and reap the benefits and he refuses what then?
