A few quick thoughts for you greenlotus, fwiw. First, 6th grade was beyond nuts for the girls in my ds' class and for the girls in my older dd's class, as well as daughters of friends of ours almost without fail. Even though your dd is skipped into 6th so she's most likely not quite at the same stage re puberty/hormones/etc, she's probably surrounded by girls who are going through what can be a very whiny emotional time, and that might be part of what's influencing her behavior. If that's what's up, time *will* help.
Re her musical instrument, I'll second the idea of getting her private lessons to help. I also wonder if, hidden behind the emotion, there may be some truth to her worries over her scales. Is it possible the band teacher is strict or giving a difficult ultimatum or something else is going on in band?
One other thought re the squeaky instrument and you.. I'm guessing this is her first year playing it? If so, be assured, the squeak sound will improve with time
And about the end of the day - it's tough! I think many of us keep chugging along during daylight with all the busy-ness that fills our lives, and then when it's time to relax and go to sleep, that's when stress can really come out because it's the first time of day it's had a chance for us to notice it. Hope that makes sense! Is there any way to give her some activity to look forward to at the end of the day before bed? That might diffuse the stress. The other thing is she's undoubtedly tired at the end of the day. Maybe there's something you can do re re-thinking bedtimes or getting up in the morning that would give her more sleep, maybe she needs better quality sleep (?).
Hang in there!
polarbear
