•DD -"I have to do my homework NOW!!!!" (the voice getting higher and shriller as the conversation moves forward). Me - "When is it due?" DD- "Next week."
Oh geez, this is my DD to a tee. She went nutso on me two weeks ago about needing a poster board (right this minute! at 9 pm!) for a project due on Oct. 21. On the bright side: this is still preferable to DS' style--which would be to remember the project on...Oct. 21.
Anxiety is pretty common with ADHD and that's how I frame this--even though it is really difficult, especially when suffering from caretaker fatigue. My DD doesn't have an ADHD diagnosis, but *could* probably. She doesn't need medication so it's a moot point for us right now. She absolutely has high levels of anxiety and perfectionism.
YMMV, but I have the best luck when I try to engage DD in empathic reflection--your behavior makes me feel X and when I feel X, I don't feel like helping you, etc. This rarely works in the moment but it seems to take hold eventually--she is improving in the emotional outburst area. Slowly.
She is very well-behaved at school so I figure she takes out all her pent up anxiety on her safe person...me. We need chainmail or something.
My DD is 11 but is an early bloomer, physically, so I tell myself she is hormonally 13. This helps me deal with her, occasionally. Sometimes I'm ready to ship her to boarding school--something she claims she'd love--but since she still sneaks into my bed in the middle of the night, I have my doubts.
This post made me feel a little better...or a little less alone, anyhow. Hang in there!
