DD10 is a...funky child with no diagnosis, but some ASD/ADHD traits. (She's odd in that nothing fits her all that well, but we try to focus on the issues we see and address them as needed.) As she ages, we are noticing more conversational deficits, particularly with adults. (She is socially very popular with peers. This is part why nothing fits.) In particular, she has poor eye contact and does not give the impression that she is an interested listener, even when she is. She also is slow to respond/answer, even when she wants to--conversational timing is off. Again, this is much worse with adults and especially with adults she does not know well. Give and take is poor. She does not monologue (no obsessive interests) and at times she can sort of "light up" and be very interactive, responsive and conversational--I have no idea why this sometimes happens but more often does not. She is much more responsive to us, but still has poor eye contact and is prone to non sequiturs.
I believe some of this is age appropriate, but some of it is definitely an issue for her. I would like tips from others (probably this would be parents of kids who have ASD, ADHD, or perhaps language pragmatics problems?--she might have that a little) on ways to work on this. The eye contact one is an interesting one. I am not sure how much to insist on it. She IS usually listening, even though she appears not to be. But the impression she gives to adults is poor. I should also note that she is NOT shy, even though this makes her sound it. I am not sure why this is so much worse with adults, but I think it's partly that she is not that invested in relationships with them.
She is highly sensitive to being "talked down to," so we must tread carefully. Also, she is extremely anxious about the idea that there is anything "wrong" with who she is or how she conducts herself.
