thank you all for your experiences and thoughtful responses. Considering my husband and many of our friends are in STEM fields, we certainly feel a bit unconventional at times. Phey, I have the same feelings as you illustrated in your post!
But I am realizing that letting them have some free rein on the computers/Ipad will not turn them into electronic zombies if managed correctly.

I was also concerned that having kids to online "work" would create less interest and focus on doing work on paper, such as homework, but perhaps this silly assumption?

Can any of you give recommendations on good parental control software for Macs? thanks!