My husband has ADHD too and he didn't get too much screen time. He does have dysgraphia and was labeled a school "loser," (even with the diagnosis) which resulted in him emotionally dropping out and about 20 years of depression, which he is over. He's doing great now, but he did lose a lot of time.
I don't credit screen time with his problems. I wish his parents were better advocates, but I don't believe they had it in them. My daughter is very much like him, with better parent advocates only because we've seen the problems firsthand.
We don't watch much television, but I don't know what we'd do without screen time. I don't want to push my (kindergarten) daughter at home, nor do I want to advocate for her strengths at school because I want to be able to advocate for her weaknesses (writing and drawing).
The iPad and computer provide really fun ways for her to work at her own pace and make her own choices without parental involvement. Games/apps she likes include Brain Pop, Lumosity, Mystery Math Town, Reading Rainbow, Code Academy, Starfall, ToonTalk, and Grammar Jammar. She also does a lot of research. The question of the day yesterday was when the first cigarette was invented and whether you could smoke on the moon. Sometimes she asks me for help finding answers, but we also find she can actually look things up in Google even though she can't spell. The Chrome browser fills in words pretty well.
She is also allowed to watch free TV on Amazon Prime and play with mind numbing games. The rule is that she can't spend too much time on mind numbing stuff. So if she starts to do that, I just say enough with the iPad. In addition, we've talked a lot about addiction and how gaming companies can tweak games to encourage addictive behaviors and how the in-app "buy now" button is a warning to "click the x and get out of there."
I feel like these devices allow her access more information and to teach herself to the extent that she wants to. I don't feel like a pushy mom and because it is fun, she's learning without me feeling like I'm supplementing when she needs free time.
I do keep my ears open, especially with Brain Pop and the individual research (just like I pay a lot of attention to the books she reads). If something seems off content-wise, I redirect. Also, using an iPad at a restaurant or at the playground...we just don't do that. I think there is a difference between not using a device inappropriately and not using a device at all.
