It really sounds as though the teacher is engaging in a power struggle with this particular parent and child.
It would have been perfectly correct for the teacher to state "My classroom, my rules."
That's completely fine (IMO) and also reflects a subtle reminder to a student that while the "rules" might be different at home, at school, in that classroom, they are what the teacher has made clear.
So the teacher is in charge of his/her CLASSROOM. Education, ultimately, is a shared responsibility between student/educators/family. Philosophically, I mean.
It sounds as though there are some underlying insecurities being played out over the choice to partially homeschool/afterschool in this particular situation, however.
As I said at first-- if I didn't have reason to suspect that more was going on, I'd approach this with "Well, what do you think the teacher was telling you with that statement?"
However, the OP clearly does have good reason to strongly suspect that this was manipulative or even a bit passive-aggressive on the part of the teacher. THAT needs to be dealt with. Problems with the educational choices being made by parents and administrators are not things to address with a young child who is in your duty of care. KWIM?
