Hi,
DSs teacher has summoned us to a meeting that will include her and the principal. DS6 had disruptive behavior at the beginning of the year but has learned to keep a lid on it. However, the teacher now says there is an issue with his "attitude". As far as I can tell he is acting negative: whining/scowling below the level of "behavior", slow at his work, giving the minimum. The teacher says she wishes to explain to us how the curriculum is a tried and true method. I am guessing she's going to ask us to push DS to work hard, not substitute any work content (we had been doing this for homework), not accommodate his motor issues in homework at home as she feels they are fully accommodated already, and tell us to tell him to put a smile on his face.
I was able to peek in the classroom recently and it looked a little haphazard with more than just my child not working with effort (DS was wandering actually but so were several others). Children were doing all different things (they are grouped and the groups work independently). Several looked miserable. DS had a bunch of his school items in a ring on the floor around his desk (organizational issues). His desk was off by itself (the 4th time he's had his seating changed!) It was probably the worst possible time behaviorally to view the class as other periods are more teacher led, but it wasn't encouraging.
We are working on getting DS a 504 for motor delay. The school says he is grade level in writing. I don't think so as he only completes his work with the teacher doing half of it (which she does happily, she has been helping him quite a bit). So there is some friction there between us and the school already. Until that and DSs disruptive behavior was resolved we had not been pushing gifted issues at all. Which is not to say gifted isn't a huge issue, the busywork and lack of content is a huge strain for him.
So my first question is, how does one respond to a teacher problem with the child's attitude without insulting their classroom management or their inability to "get" the most basic issues my DS has (of which they've been informed several times)?
At this point my plan is just listen, then reiterate DSs 2 main issues (motor/gifted) again. Last meeting we didn't get a word in edgewise.Does anyone have any tips on how to politely get time to talk? I feel if I say, "Last time we didn't get a chance to speak, how many minutes will you be here and can we have half of those to share our concerns?" that I would get a poor reception.
Secondly, has anyone been called to a meeting that turned out to be a teacher show-boating to effect some goal of their own within the school command chain? How does one handle that? Part of me wonders if the teacher has some point she wishes us parents to make to the principal for her... what I don't know. That the curriculum doesn't work for all students? That the homework is excessive? The teacher honestly does not seem to have enough time to think up schemes like that, so it's just a thought of mine. But if it's really going to be a straight "this is my awesome curriculum, your kid should smile while they do it", why is the principal necessary?
MON seems like you would have insight into that last bit, you seem to really get the ins and outs of school administrations.
Thanks all for any tips or insight!
