How old is your dd? She couldn't sound more like mine. This is exactly the sort of thing that she does, and exactly the way that she rationalizes it.
My DD is 9. However....she has been this way forever. However and however again, I feel like we are just starting to figure her out. You're much farther down the road than we were at 5.
FWIW, her behavior in school was better than your DD's, but her behavior at home was worse, from what your describe. Her school behavior improved as she got older, though she still is hardly known for being a pleaser, and it takes a good, experienced, sensitive teacher to handle her *well.* She could, and did, really run rings around some of the young, uncertain teachers at preschool. The preschool suggested that we have her evaluated for giftedness and "other things" at age 3.
She has been extremely impatient to become an adult pretty much since birth. The other day she was given a consequence (weed pulling, actually--we do give her physical chores as consequences and it works well) for being disrespectful and said something like, "You're all wrong about me and you always were. One day, I'll leave this house, and you'll see what I can become."
