Originally Posted by ultramarina
[quote]For instance, the other day she was being a royal PITA about an arrangement we had made to switch cars so that she would ride up somewhere with her father and ride back with her grandparents, while her brother did the opposite. She decided she didn't want to do the switch on the way home, and argued our ears off with reasons why this was all right and we should change our plan (her brother did not wish to change the previously arranged plan).I finally got her to tell me what was at the root at this after oh, 15 minutes of angry protestations, but I had to pry it out of her. She had heard an offhand remark, not intended for her, about how her grandfather didn't know the way and didn't have a map, and was therefore worried he would get lost (she hates being lost). Once I was able to adequately reassure her that this was not a concern, no issue remained and she switched cars.

But she DIDN'T TELL ANYONE THAT THIS WAS THE PROBLEM! Instead she aggressively confronted us--I don't want to do the switch, I changed my mind, I'm not going. The behavior looked ODD, or something other than anxiety, anyway. Even when I asked--why don't you want to switch?--she would not initially explain. I had to really work it out of her.

We have had similar type incidents in the past with our DS. Fortunately, he will tell me pretty easily but he will not tell others (like school officials for example!) and he would look 'ODD' to them - he's petrified of getting in trouble yet he gets in more trouble not explaining himself! I tell them he is never oppositional without a 'good' (actually usually pretty darn good) reason that may not be immediately obvious to you. I can always get it out of him so call me. He is MUCH better these days and I honestly think it's due to his underlying issues being supported, accommodated, remediated. It's weird the two don't seem related but they are ... The more proper support and proper remediation he gets (fixing his vision, accommodating his writing disability), his anxiety melts away all over - across all aspects, ykwim? Anyway, no real advice just have been there.

ETA: DS does have a anxiety diagnosis

Last edited by Irena; 04/21/13 07:17 PM.