I suspect that the district will shut you down if you make noises about an IEP... so don't discount the idea of a 504 plan on the basis of thinking that the one thing is "more" than the other. By all means ask if they'll consider an evaluation under IDEA, but I wouldn't make a big deal if they think that it's more of a 504 matter. The accommodations in a 504 plan don't necessarily have to be any different than they would be in an IEP, and they are every bit as mandatory.
The two things are just
different from one another in terms of
intent-- IEP is about educational benefit to the individual student, and 504 is about making a level playing field so that the child has the same opportunities as unaffected peers. Many districts see IEP = "special ed, different classes/placement" and 504 = "everything else" in terms of qualifying student needs. That's not
right, necessarily, but unless you have a diagnosis that is specifically on the list of qualifying conditions, with clear history that it results in IEP's in a variety of educational settings, well, then a 504 may be the most probable outcome. (Parents whose kids are on the spectrum may not be as aware of this since most districts
automatically qualify kids on the spectrum for IEP's.)
That said, it
does sound like you have some compelling evidence to support qualification on that score. Major life activities impacted would be learning and social interaction.
The nice thing about a 504 is that it is tied to ADA, not IDEA-- so it actually has
broader applicability outside of school settings. A 504 can fade in/out in terms of supports/accommodations as well as an IEP can.
I do think that DeeDee has given you some good recommendations. Know that some kids just struggle with anxiety more than others-- it seems to be something about the way that they are wired, to worry internally about things, but you
can modify how they cope.
We've worked on putting anxiety into physical outlets-- playing the piano, walking the dog, working with one of our DD's animals, pulling weeds, that kind of thing. It's partly imagery (CBT) and partly about developing a healthier set of coping skills behaviorally by substituting an adaptive behavior for a maladaptive one (ABA).
We've
not resorted to medications. That's my personal bent, though-- I really see psychoactive medication for pre-adolescents as a very very last resort. It's not that I'm against it unilaterally, but that I think that it's more important to try to address things other ways first, because those medications, even fairly short-term, do have more-or-less permanent impact on neurotransmitter function in the midbrain.
I also firmly believe that in a child for whom the anxiety seems tied to specific environments (school, etc.), the answer is probably not "this is a dysfunction" so much as "this is a response to an environment which is somehow inappropriate for this individual" and the answer needs to be different, as well. That's where an IEP/504 can come into play-- to flex that environment in some specified and predictable ways in order to allow the child to experience an educational environment which is as accessible as it is to any other student in the classroom.
Ratcheting down the fight-or-flight is definitely the way to make progress in shifting the learned maladaptive responses. The other trick that we've learned over the years is to try to do most of the "work" in changing DD's responses... during the SUMMER months, when the natural anxiety-stimuli associated with school are not present. It's much, much easier then.
