So, that got me a response! I got an email back saying:

Dear [marytheres],

We are all on the same page to meet [DS's] needs and have him be successful in first grade while also encouraging independence. If you feel the need to continue our conversation please feel free to call me. We will incorporate the suggested items that we discussed yesterday and give you the opportunity to review before finalizing the iep. I hope [other DS] is feeling better.

Thank you again,
[assist. dir.]

I am not sure that means I get what I want or what! I think it does! But I guess we will see when I get the new draft.

Thanl you all so much for all of your help, advice and support. I couldn't have done it without you! You all are wonderful! Thank you, Thank you, thank you!