I hear ya! I remember purposely trying NOT to show my DC's abilities because of this very reason. It's a shame you often feel you need to hide their true colors for fear of being accused of showing off or whatever. Don't let it get to you
I wonder if some of this frustration might be mitigated by just telling that 'special' someone who is driving you crazy (next time they make an odd comment)...'what do you mean by that?' see if you can draw them out gently and get to understand that they are crossing a line.
Might not work, might result in a real scene (hopefully not), but if you are considering chucking a volunteer role and/or someone's friendship anyway, shouldn't you reach out to try to explain yourself first? I think that 'running of the tapes' in your head really shows that you have things you WANT to SAY, it's just figuring out how to approach the issue.
It's like telling someone they have broccoli in their teeth; people really want to know if they are being a-holes. (really they don't set out in the morning to make you miserable!)
I have never once regretted speaking my mind on something, it always makes me feel much better and frankly I have salvaged otherwise terrible work relationships, friendships and relative relationships this way. I once told a friend at work to 'just call me Frank', since they looked so shocked that I was taking on a particularly cranky colleague. It can be done, but not without communication!
