As for your friend, you might tell her, "yes, boys will be boys, but we are trying to raise them to be men!"
LOL OHGrandma!!!! I hate the old "boys will be boys" or "girls just behave that way". It's usually used to excuse some type of bad behavior and deficient parenting skills (IMHO!!!). It's so hard because so many people don't think they should have to make their children behave because it will hurt their self-esteem. I read a great article that said self-esteem isn't what we need to be so worried about these days, but rather teaching self-control. I really thought that was great!
