Thanks for the rec, acs. May I ask: what specifically is good about Raising Cain? Why did you like that book in particular? (You know me and my quest for more info...
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Ok, I like that book, but now you've actually made me go to my bookshelf and double check, I'm going to have to update my recommendation. If you're going to get one book, it should be the sequel "Speaking of Boys" by Thompson. It's way more practical.
According to this book, boys are annoying and smart-alecky for 5 reasons. 1) It's biological and related to primate dominance displays 2)It's part of adolescent separation from adults 3)immaturity--a reaction to fear 4)they learn it from watching adult males (athletes and movie stars and lawyers etc etc), 5)it gives them a sense of power and actually intimidates people and that's pretty exciting when you feel small and scared.
According to the book, one handles it by, "not rising to the bait, not lecturing or moralizing, not becoming frightened, and not patronizing." One should try to disarm it. Thompson gives examples of how he handles it too, but I don't want to type in the whole book.
I had DH read both these books and he says they got it right. Then I loaned them to my mother who raised 2 sons. She had them them in the bathroom for light reading. Several months later, one of my brothers who was visiting them asked me where I got those books. He said he'd really liked them and that after reading them, he felt like he had a much better understanding of his own childhood. So that's why I recommend them--because men I trust think they got it right.
