BTW, I'm absolutely lousy at conferences myself, so please bear that in mind...
I'm not saying don't focus on academics. I think you're right, Dottie, that you've got to talk about them. But I would think that doing so solely in terms of what's going on in the classroom would get better results. Talking about the effect on the kid seems smart to me.
I just know that whenever I've politely and pleasantly shared with a teacher what DS was doing at home, I got either blank looks/blown off or active refutation along the lines of "All kids do that." But talking about the child's emotional state seems harder for a teacher to ignore.
But what do I know? DS is only 6 and we're now home schooling! Clearly I'm no expert!
