Is it just the inability to let go of my picture of "childhood" that's making this so hard?
Having a childhood means "just let him be a kid," right? Doesn't that mean that children should have the opportunity to be happy and do things they enjoy without too much pressure? Which environment would be less stressful/ more enjoyable for your son? Not everyone has the same "childhood" and we need to feel like we have the permission to give our kids the "childhood" that's the best fit for them.
Around here, childhood means spending hours sititng in one place reading Conan Doyle, building with Legos, playing with dolls, spending an hour working on a Bach or Mozart piece, riding bikes, hanging around in the pasture holding chickens, and studying the Mesozoic era for a paleontology competition. Hey, it's not the childhood I had, but it's the one that is right for my kids and these are the activities that make them happy.
Maybe the childhood that would make your son happiest would include 6th grade math and hanging around with older kids?
