Just throwing it out there, as it's hard to know what would work for any given individual, but have you ever thought of getting her a life coach or behaviour coach? I've never had much use for therapists myself because I felt that talking about problems and feelings only puts more emphasis on those thoughts and feelings. But a life coach or behaviour coach is much more practical and focuses on the different aspects of life that need improving.
We realized early on (when he was about 3) that we would need help guiding DS6 through life, and getting a behaviour coach to help us help him has been the best thing we've done for him yet. By way of examples, she has helped him deal with impulse control, his perfectionistic tendencies, as well as his "big" feelings. He's still working on all of it, but at least he's (mostly) headed in the right direction. It was important to find him someone he could trust, as he sometimes tells her things he's not willing to share with us. We would've been willing to keep looking until we found the right person too, otherwise it wouldn't have worked.
For what it's worth, she's lucky to have you. Good luck!
That is exactly what ds7 needs. I doubt they exist here but how did you go about finding one.
