DD is in 7th grade. Per my previous posts on the forum, DD has dealt with social struggles, fights to academically challenge her, random gifted issues, and there was also concern about ADHD (inattentive). There are some other items, but I can’t post them for privacy sake. Thus, we have been on the therapist train. We have now seen at least 4 or 5, and every one of them has their own view of what might be going on and how to help her. Some just tested her (WJ, ADHD assessments, etc). DD will not go to a therapist anymore (she thinks they are creepy and just out for the money). I just starting going to a psych who specializes in gifted kids for help with parenting (DH goes when he can).
I am on here occasionally, and I thank goodness this place exists, because without it, I would really be at a loss. It’s rather scary right now, parenting DD. And confusing. The new psych. said DD is a puzzle, and she stated she was going to go to a colleague to discuss the case. No wonder DH and I don’t know what direction to take.
The current state of DD:
The bad - angry (words, not violence), hates school (except electives), hates her sister, says she doesn’t like people (except those who have proven trustworthy), intense (oh my gosh) (gets chastised at school for having “too much to say”) miniature lawyer, gets called “weird” at school by some and has been bullied, anxious (forgetting what she knows on math tests, has come out with the fact that crowds are very stressful for her), sarcastic, little empathy for others, checked off on a personality assessment that “the world would be better off without her.” You all know just how hard that is to hear about one’s child. Diagnosed with ADHD, inattentive type, assessments suggest depression and anxiety. Then there is something else; we just can’t put our finger on it. She can engage with others sometimes, but often it is such a struggle to communicate with her. She would much rather do art or read. I have never ever had longer than a 5-10 minute conversation with her without having to pull her back in from drawing or reading unless we are on a walk or sometimes at bedtime. She hates to share her inner world because it’s her “personal information”.
The good – DD has found a couple of people who she likes (texts like crazy with them) snuggled with me over Thanksgiving (she started becoming sweeter the longer she was out of school), was offered a whole grade acceleration 2 years ago, and accelerated 3 years in math. She is intense in soccer ,and says she likes Girl Scouts, and her school book reading competition. She is funny as anything (I can’t post her political cartoons because everyone is too raw from the election). She was great at debate this summer at a gifted summer school and likes art and band at school. She gets straight A’s without trying (although hates math because she says she has to work at it, and “it only has one right answer”). She spends lots of time helping a friend play an instrument (so does have empathy sometimes!!).
I just want DD to make it alive and well through adolescence. We are trying to figure out if we target the depression and/or the anxiety OR if the ADHD is the underlying cause. Psych. wonders if DD even has ADHD or if it’s just the giftedness business. Psych. really stresses the giftedness aspect of DD and wants us to understand how that affects her. Do we pull her from school to homeschool (lots of opportunities here)? DD does not want to but do we overrule her decision? She is only 11! Meds? It’s all on the table. If the psych thinks DD is a puzzle how are we to feel?? Sorry for the novel. I am just so worried about DD.
