I don't have much insight to offer but I wonder if her resistance to homeschooling is because she really doesn't think it will work or if it is more of a devil you know vs the devil you don't type thing.
I say this because last year DS was very reluctant to switch schools. He HATED school, had 1 maybe 2 friends, had zero enrichment, etc but yet he was so scared of the unknown that he didn't want to move. We eventually talked through his concerns and made a list of pros and cons for both sides. In the end we agreed that he would try it out for a few months and if it wasn't working for him it would be his choice at that point. The transition was a bit rough but in the end he's much happier and it has been a raving success.
I can totally relate to the scared, confusion, chaos, etc. Hope you're able to figure out something.
