Thanks for your response Portia.
You have an excellent point - start with asking him what the best solution would be.
We've talked quite a bit, over the last few years especially, about what he needs/wants at school. It has only be recently that he has been able to articulate a few things. I think not wanting to stand out has stopped him from wanting me to ask for anything different. I think he is so unhappy now that he's open to trying something new.
He has been a very motivated and conscientious student until recently so I feel confident that he'll put the work in if we switch things up for him - through a changed curriculum or through Distributed Learning but you're right, it's a very good idea to make that absolutely clear, especially if we move to Distributed Learning.
When he is out of school he is on fire with curiosity and I would even say joy. It could be the ability to control what he learns and it could also be removing him from his peers and the social issues he's dealing with. I have a feeling that removing the social and allowing him to work at his own pace (even if the curriculum isn't materially changed) will renew his energy for school.
I guess it comes down to the harm that could come from allowing him to withdraw from the social scene (vs the benefit).
On the other side of the coin - how much the joy of an adapted curriculum will offset the social issues.
I think once he's regained his joy/balance he'll have more energy to continue exploring things in more social settings ie camps, extra curricular classes.
