Like everyone else Eco I just wanted you to know that you are heard and understood and I am really sorry it has been so tough. It sounds exhausting.
There is one thing I know from my DD is that science and math tend to have more precise answers without emotional connotations so those subjects are easier for her. She finds English and History much less appealing because the answer can be "wrong" if it requires an evaluative response. Her complaint is that often it has to be what the teacher wants and expects to hear in order to score well and she doesn't know what the teacher wants. More importantly she often has a different response. Rather than be wrong she becomes paralyzed wondering what is right.
Over time DD convinced herself that she just wasn't good at humanities subjects. Turns out that isn't true but she has had to develop, not just the tools and skills to present critical responses, but the confidence in her own ideas. On the bright side she is starting to love English again with the right teacher and the right material.
This may not be relevant to your son but I thought it was worth pointing out that there are lots of reasons why kids mute themselves in certain situations. Fear and confusion mostly. I hope you find a way to have other people see the DS you know and love. He deserves that and so do you.
This all makes sense and is encouraging! Thank you for sharing. It is exhausting.
We are going to work on the evaluative responses. I think DS *can* do them, but they require more from him energy-wise, and he needs help.
