Possibly because he has been compensating for a long while, and has grown used to skipping things and guessing as strategies which are often successful. You may wish to consider talking with him about these strategies (which he may not immediately recognize if they have become ingrained an automatic) and helping him recognize them as a signal that another strategy could be employed: asking for clarification. A helpful teacher who "gets it" may spend the time to discuss his guesses while also providing clarification in other words/phrases until he has the aha moment and all the puzzle pieces seem to fit.
Yes, this is how I'm trying to approach it at home. I am going to need to be the helpful teacher--the ones who are most positive about him are math/science and that is not where he needs clarification. He's answering social studies questions with prior (correct) knowledge, for instance, but it hasn't been covered yet and that is one of the problems.
I wouldn't let this one slide by - I'd email the teacher, state what you understand had happened - no emotion or judgment or indication that anything unacceptable had happened - just state that your ds had been out of school for medical appointments and missed class on x day, and that you understand (or have seen?) that he was graded low on "participation points" on that day. Ask if that is what has happened, and if so, can the grade be changed since it was an excused absence. If the grade can't be changed, can he make up the work. If the answer is "no" to this or if the teacher suggests he do something unreasonable to make up the work, I'd take the situation and response up a level, and request a meeting with the 504 coordinator, or perhaps the principal. I realize as I'm typing this that there are also political considerations here due to the struggles with your school, but fwiw, that's my first response! I do think you can approach this in a non-adversarial manner, take the stance of seeing it as a misunderstanding that needs to be resolved.
I did email to confirm that was the reason for the deduction. It is an art class and the teacher's response was he can't give studio points when the student isn't there. He said he gives opportunities to make up points that he announces to the class.
--I asked if he could tell me about them because DS won't hear/remember.
--I asked if would consider just lowering the points possible for DS so that he isn't given free points when he's not there but isn't penalized, either. I explained he needs treatment and I'll do my best to schedule it so he doesn't miss the same class frequently.
No response.
Missing school is still tough in high school too. Is it possible to schedule the CBT at a different time?
Realistically, there is no good time. My busy time at work is right after school and it takes all evening to do meals/homework/bedtime routine--and DS is frankly a slug in the afternoon/evening. It's kind of the least worst situation to miss 1.5 hours of school. I did put him on a cancellation list for the end of the school day so he'd only miss study hall. The psychologist offered to write a letter stating it is potentially a violation of DS' civil rights to be penalized for seeking needed medical treatment, but I don't think that's a good idea.
Does he see the distinction between explaining what happened in this situation, as opposed to the type of explanation/countering/backtalk for which he has been admonished in the past?
I think you are onto something. He recently explained to me that he just "makes everyone angry" when he talks, so he has stopped talking. In fact, I've spent a bit of time researching selective mutism, because he is nearly mute in the presence of some of his teachers, when we've tried to have productive meetings.
He is not like this with other adults at all. Very specific (selective?)
Is the teacher that penalized him the same one that has been giving you other problems? I don't understand why he would take off points for participation if DS couldn't participate because he was absent.
Different teacher. I think it's an attendance incentive and not retaliatory.
Reading all of your posts about what appears to be rigid grading systems just makes me squirm. Is this what I'm in for in another two years or so?
He's really having a good year academically, even though it may sound otherwise from my posts. He has all very high As and Bs, except in history where he's been trending down and is now at 80%. (Irony: he adores history and wants to be an historian who invents historical board games. He is adept and knowledgable in this area.) He has a couple of wonderful, compassionate teachers who are being great with him and communication. I really think a huge part of this depends on the luck of the draw.
Also, make sure that you are documenting what you are helping with in terms of homework, so that the teacher doesn't see his well formed answers and then conclude that there is no issue with your DS.
The things we've been reviewing are after the fact--so that's not a problem. I think his answers are viewed as lazy, though. DS says they are sometimes lazy answers, and sometimes not.
I was telling a friend this morning that if he can't get some help at school, I'm just going to turn him loose--no meds, choose his own clothes, no assistance with homework or organization, etc. Then they will see what the real deal is--maybe then he could get some help.
I wouldn't really do that to DS but I think if the school knew how much work we put into DS school they might be more sympathetic that he really struggles.
I will PM you, blackcat.
