Thank you so much everyone for your help. All of your responses really made me feel a lot better and some of them even made me chuckle
I'm currently trying to contact someone is our district to schedule another IEP meeting. I sent an email to the only person whose email was listed on any of my paperwork. I let her know that I wasn't certain if she was the right person to contact, but that I didn't have contact info for anyone else on the team. She emailed back next day to let me know that she isn't in fact the right person, but told me who is the right person. Of course she gave no contact info for said person. Helpful.
And a fun example of how his IU experience has been over the years. Here we are at the end of IU services as we are transitioning into school age stuff, so we have been getting "services" from them for 2.5 years now. You would think that in all that time and with me sharing IQ results from the district with the IU they would know my son a least a bit by now. Well, his mobile therapist was at his IU playgroup earlier this week and reported back to me on the things that happened while she was there.
First off I got a report that sounded like my son had a horrible day. His therapist reported that he had a good day for DS and that the only trouble he has was constant distraction, which is normal for him. He told me he had a good day at school and I said that his report didn't show that. He was upset and confused. I should have talked to his therapist before I trusted the IU staff.
She also told me a story about some learning activity they were doing. Apparently they showed my son a number 4 and asked him what it was. When he ignored them his therapist wrote down a 6 digit number and asked what it was. She got a response. Then the IU instructor looked at the therapist and told her in a not so nice tone, "That's not what we're working on." She was trying to illustrate that he maybe possibly might be bored...
Later they asked him when we eat breakfast. Of course they were going for morning, but my son answered all sorts of different things, like after we brush our teeth and before Daddy goes to work. When his therapist was over yesterday she wanted to see if he actually knew (as the teacher thought he had some asd related problem understanding sequences of events or something) and he eventually, after about 20 responses and prompts of and what else... finally said in the morning. Before he said morning he even gave a time range, 7-10, depending on what day of the week it is and if we have someplace to go.
I think he's honestly confused about people asking these sorts of questions because he knows we already know and he tries to maybe answer with something the other person might not know?
I just keep thinking of how annoying and insulting it would be if I were sitting in that classroom and some lady asked me in an annoying talk to babies voice to identify the number 4. I wouldn't answer either. I would probably also have something not so nice to say.
My son isn't proud of the fact that he knows the number 4. Just like I'm not proud of the fact that I know the number 4. Maybe a child who recently learned the number 4 would still enjoy answering to show their knowledge, but a kid who mastered numbers 4 years ago and doesn't have any memory of a time when he didn't know the number 4 is not going to find any value in answering such questions.
I'm not asking anyone to give my son 6 digit numbers to identify or ask him challenging math questions, I'm simply requesting that they not require him to answer stuff so far below his ability level and then call it poor behavior when they don't catch his fleeting attention with their boring requests. I'm perfectly happy if they just let him finger paint and work on some social skills. It is called PLAYgroup after all.
