OK. My son has had his testing. He's supposed to be gifted. Usually I think that he probably is. Then he will act so dense about something it drives me nuts! Are my expectations too high? Could this be part of his other E (which seems to be some unholy combo of TS, ADHD, ASD, and OCD)?

I'm so used to just explaining something to my DS and having him get it. Especially math stuff. Then randomly something will just seem to be impossible to explain to him. Most recently we started doing more formal workbook learning and I'm encouraging him to be independent at it. So the other morning I was looking over his work and it said something like find the difference between 32 and 48. I look at his answer and it looks like 3248.

I thought he just didn't try or got distracted and wrote the numbers he saw. So I asked him about it. He says the difference is 32 is 32 and 48 is 48. I thought let's use smaller numbers to more easily illustrate the point. I say, what's the difference between 1 and 2. "One is straight and 2 has curves." I explain that what's the difference means to subtract and see how many numbers are between them. I say what's the difference between 2 and 12. "Two is a one digit number and 12 is a two digit number." At that point I might have yelled "I said it means subtract!" I might also have decided to let it go and hand it off to Dad who has infinite patience in these matters.

Dad gives it a go. He says to him the difference is the number of numbers between two numbers. He give 2 and 10 as an example. My son says 7. As in there are 7 numbers actually between them. That was at least getting close and Dad managed to get the concept into him from there using a number line.

I'm thinking, this kid can't possibly be gifted.

Currently he's interested in square roots because he read something about it in a book, but he's having a hard time grasping it as well. He knows the definition and a few square roots, but he's not really even in the ballpark guessing the square root of things most of the time, other than very small numbers.

I suck at teaching him because I really don't like math and I have no patience as a teacher. Maybe I have no idea what a 5 year old should be able to grasp? So far with my son we just explained things once in simple terms and he seemed to get them.

Just in general DS has issues focusing on the important points. He's the kid who when asked to find what comes next in the pattern 1, 2, 3 says red. Looking at the patterns you see a slight printing difference where the 1 and 3 look more washed out than the 2 and could be mistaken for light red or maybe even pink. Most people would just think he has no idea how to count.

How is a tree similar to a bush? They're both taller than me if I lay down. Huh? If I ask for more info he goes on to say they both have leaves. They are both green and brown. They both have roots. They both need water and sun, grow from seeds etc. He never says they are both plants, which I think is what you are supposed to come up with to those kinds of questions.

He definitely doesn't talk like the other kids. The other day he got new shoes and told me "I'm really worried the other kids are going to see my new shoes and yearn to have the same ones for themselves."

Recently he got to play a board game with an 8 year old boy in the local gifted program and my son's strategy and understanding of the game was way beyond the other kid. I absolutely couldn't believe the other kid wasn't using defensive strategies my son picked right up on. I expected a gifted kid 3 years older to kick his butt honestly. In fact what happened is my son got bored and annoyed because the kid wasn't playing well!

So it's odd. Sometimes my son seems so smart and other times he seems so dense it makes me crazy. Is this normal? Am I just expecting too much? Is it possible any of this relates to the other issues he has going on?

I know I should chill out, but I honestly say to his dad at least once a week (usually when he pees his pants, grrr) "And this is a kid who is supposed to be gifted?" I'm just not familiar with normal for 5 year olds I guess.

Probably because all I see is them easily enjoying themselves and socializing while my son has difficulties. I don't even get a chance to hear them talk or see where there are on academic tasks. Online resources like PBS development tracker seem so skewed towards making parents of slow kids feel good that I can't get a good idea of what the average 5 year old really can do (which is different from what they are supposed to do).

I'm feeling odd about advocating for my son since I feel so wishy washy myself on the issue. Everyone says get a GIEP, but I feel weird going in insisting my kid is in need of specialized instruction when I feel so conflicted on the issue myself. We already have an extensive why your kid is an epic fail IEP (sorry, but that's what it reads like to me). I'm not sure I even want to talk to the people at the school again... ever.

OK, everything I post gets too long, so I'm gonna just stop now smile Thanks for all of your help!